Knee Deep.

"Mind on a permanent vacation.

The ocean is my only medication.

Wishing my condition

ain't ever gonna go away."

-Zac Brown Band & Jimmy Buffett.

Labor Day weekend is one of the best rewards for finishing out my first full week of school. I can't believe we're already going into September. I swear, April just started like two hours ago...figures.

First off, today is my dad's birthday. Wow, that sentence was boring. But I really missed out by not being there for his celebration weekend. Last year, I remember not really caring about being absent. This year, I wish I could have flown home to hang out with the family and eat some cake or something. One day, I will come home and hang out with the guy that basically gave me every personality trait I have. I literally would not be the same without you and I'm so glad you made me as stubborn and extreme as possible. You're the best...even if we quote Stepbrothers way too much.

Sometimes, one phone call can change your life. I really hate those surprise announcements via telephone. Mine came today in the form of one of my best friend's moms crying to me about the loss of her grandfather. I literally can't stomach tears from other people, but being there for my girl, Huber, made me realize something I sometimes forget. I love that girl. She has seen me at highs and lows and the same goes from me to her. She is beautiful inside and out. That girl is my rock and she changed my life in such an amazing way. I couldn't picture this chapter of my life without her. She is my Huber and that will never change. I'm just praying for her and her family right now. All my love and thoughts will be for them. RIP Grandpa Huber.

Last but not least, today was very much so a lake day. Something about the atmosphere of Percy Priest made me want to get back out on Naci and go wakesurfing. Or innertubing. Or swimming. I really miss summer. And the cabin. And the boat. And my best friend laughing with me. But it's not in a homesick way. It's in nostalgia and longing to go back soon. Soon meaning December. I can wait that long. Even though some nights are long and the stress is high, I'm going back pretty quickly. But the lake just took me to my happy place. The water just puts me in a good vibe, you know?

Heart Beats.

"The night falls,

the city lay asleep.

Among the crowds,

we both know

you're my only dream."

-Hey Marseilles.

It's been a long day. A great, long day. But I am far too tired to go into all the details. Long story short: we shopped 'til we dropped and we ate so much greasy diner food, I will proceed to starve for the next week. Too full beyond words. 

Friday Five, yo.

This is the future, people. The glowing skirt reminds me of something a la Jetsons. I'm so excited for this spacey look to go big. Too sick.

For the cool girl who wants to look relaxed yet edgy. This loose, white romper is perfect for a lazy Sunday with a twist.

All hail Alexa Chung. Seriously, this girl knows her fashion and I will praise her for every outfit she wears. This is the cutest little floral number since I don't know when. Perfect for summer, spring or just a fun, girly kinda day.

I love how the Olsen twins devote their lives to fashion. This all black look is so cool and easy to imitate. The giant parka with slick aviators looks like the best fall transition to me.

My love affair for this asymmetrical skort is undying. I'm absolutely obsessed with the geometric dimensions of the hem mixed with a classic striped top. Gah, want.

Fast Cars And Freedom.

"I see a dust trail

following an old red Nova.

Baby blue eyes,

your head on my shoulder."

-Rascal Flatts.

Cannot get this song out of my head. Why is Rascal Flatts just so good?

As much as I contained a lot of my joy and excitement, This Is Us was an AMAZING movie. Ah, what a film. Literally, it makes me so proud to see my favorite boys on the big screen. Best part? It was totally focused on being themselves. That's why I love these lads. They don't fake who they are. There are no gimmicks or coverups. They just do what they want. 

But...I almost broke down when each mom came on the screen. Holy Jesus. Forget hanging out with the guys. I just want to chill with their families for a week each. Can I start off by saying Mrs. Twist (or Harry's mom, for those who don't know) is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen? She's up there with Christie Brinkley and Elizabeth Hurley. Anne is just...stunning. No wonder where Curly got his looks. Side note: he was looking mighty fine in the film. Love me some Styles.

Honestly, the families were the best part. I love how grounded they are around the people who know them best. It's so refreshing to look at the simple lifestyle they use to have and actually enjoy themselves and the people around them. Only thing I thought of was...those great parents raised some idiot boys. But that's okay. I am a fan. Proud and loving of the guys. Always will be.

If you're even the slightest bit interested, go see this film. It warmed my heart. It made me dance. I was having a good laugh the majority of the time. And those boys deserve everything they have earned. 

Well done, lads. Love you always.

Take It Easy.

"Don't let the sound

of your own wheels

drive you crazy."

-The Eagles.

HUMP DAAAAAAAAAY. Sorry, had to get that out of my system. It's too good.

Today is a turn for the best! I'm actually really happy. Like, stress is still here, but it's slowly leaving my heart. Thank the Lord. I'm just actually fine for the first time in a week. It feels really good. Want a recap?

1. Study abroad in London: July-August. Sooooo...that's happening.

2. We had tacos tonight. You don't understand my love and affection for Mexican food. Even if it is homemade and not fully authentic.

3. My first article for the Vision is in the works. And I'm actually really excited about it! It's going to be about horses and riding and clubs and all kinds of good stuff. YAY.

4. I talked to my favorite old people. Boy, do I miss them. Sure, it will be a while until I see them, but it's worth it to hear their voices over the phone. I'm blessed with the best. I must say.

5. The Eagles came on in the car. The Eagles are a great band. I'm having an epiphany about how good they are just now. Why didn't I see it earlier when Shannon wouldn't shut up about them?

6. Kelsey might get married this summer. So I can come. And be in the wedding. Literally, I'm going to cry of pure happiness. What an honor to be included in that beautiful person's life.

Maybe I need to listen to my key rings and "cherish the journey" more often than not. It honestly has been a great one so far. Even though the path sometimes gets twisted, I always find my way out. 

Little Bit Of Everything.

"I just wanna sing a little chill song.

Get my groove on.

Pour something strong

down in my drink."

-Keith Urban.

It's been a long week. And it's only Tuesday. I can tell this semester is going to be loooooong. I mean, I'm already planning flights back home for December. We aren't even in September yet. Like...excuse me, what? 

These next 15 or so weeks may take a while. I'm somewhat okay with that. I get to road trip it over fall break. Thanksgiving on the beaches of Florida once again. Countless House Church gatherings and Ethos Sundays. Spontaneous dance parties in the living room of the "quouse" and endless Friends marathons. There's the good. But school and homework and projects...I'm already shutting down. I tried to go in with a positive mindset and now, I feel beyond naive for all the assignments I have in those next 100 or so days.

Every day is different. I believe that you should have to work hard to get what you want in life. But at the same time, I have no motivation because it's still 91 degrees every day and I'm still in summer mode. Issue, much?

I'm not one of those girls waiting for oversized sweaters and pumpkin lattes. I don't care about the fact autumn is on its way. I'll like it once it's time to be here...in October. But until then, why can't I just have a leisurely vacation for another 2 months? WHY.

Referring back to oversized sweaters, for those of you ready for the cooler days, here's a sneak preview at what I may be wearing. Care to join me if you please.

See You Again.

"I will carry

you with me, oh.

'Til I see you again."

-Carrie Underwood.

This song came on in the car today and it is beyond relevant for my feelings right now.

My beautiful friend, Kelsey, is now off the market. As I said before, she is engaged to a wonderful man by the name of Jason. I'm over the moon for their relationship and so grateful she found someone so grand. Congratulations.

The stress has begun in my media class. Surprisingly, it's good anxiety. No, I haven't fully accepted it. But I know I'll be okay. Everyone survives. Wait, no. The strong and determined survive. I want to be one of those people. I'm going to fight past my nerves.

Lastly, my prayers are all to the Huber family. Right now, things are headed a tad south within their health and I just hope so much that they can get through this difficult time. It's such a tough position to see one of my best friends suffer from the pain of bad health. This rough patch is really showing me how strong she is and how much I absolutely love that girl. She is not just a pal, but the sister I never had. And I love all of our laughs and cries and good times. I send all my love, wishes and prayers toward her and her amazing family. Stay strong.

We can do this. We can live. Sure, it may involve tears and stress and homesickness. But we can do this.

Bye Bye Bye.

"I'm doing this tonight.

You're probably gonna start a fight.

I know this can't be right.

Hey baby, come on."

-NSYNC.

Um, hello. Fangirling. Crying. Screaming. Dancing. Bowing. Praising. Clapping. Hating. All of these crazy emotions poured out of my soul tonight for the VMAs. Boy, what a show.

First, let me cover my favorite fashions.

Literally, this dress is SICK. When Ellie arrived in this gorgeous spiked gown, I was giving her all of my attention. Love this completely.

Simply chic. Naya Rivera looks sexy in this all black number with side cutouts. Showstopper.

Hated this from first sight. But Selena shined in this navy Atelier Versace dress. The intricate lace on the semi-bustier is beyond beautiful.

Highlights/Moments:

1. Miley...um. What. I will never unsee that. The Smiths' faces say it all...

2. Taylor Swift, you are just rude at this point. Grow up. You're 23 going on 24. Your ex is my age and he is handling this whole sabotage-breakup thing way better than you. Show maturity for once. Just...stop.

3. Harry. WHERE DO YOU GET ALL OF YOUR FRUIT FROM. It, like, comes out of nowhere.

4. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. YOU AND NSYNC MADE MY WHOLE ENTIRE YEAR AND POSSIBLY MY LIFE. AND I WASN'T EVEN AN NSYNC GIRL. (ALL CAPS WAS DEFINITELY NEEDED TO FUEL MY EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS.) STILL CRYING.

Get More: Justin Timberlake, Justin Timberlake (Medley), Music, More Music Videos

I Won't Back Down.

"You can stand me up

at the gates of Hell,

but I won't back down."

-Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.

First Saturday night of the semester and what do I choose to do? Turn on The Social Network and pretend I have somewhat of a life. It's moments like these that I question my sanity and dignity. Well, maybe that's a tad dramatic. But I honestly hate being alone like this on one of these nights. Oh well...

I'm starting to miss summer big time. The weather is still warm and gorgeous here, but the lack of any water areas is making me wish I had somewhere to lay out and get in the water. I miss all access to a pool or my beach sanctuary. Why didn't I go somewhere near a huge lake or by the sea? I'm crazy.

Well, besides that, nothing really new around here. Just same stuff, different day. 

WAIT HOLD UP. Exclusive alert: one of my "sisters" is...ENGAGED. Oh my goodness, I'm honestly about to cry over this breaking news. I am so beyond happy for that beautiful lady and her fiance. Ah, I'm over the moon for this. Must text her right now. Details will soon follow...

Rehab.

"Yes I've been black,

but when I come back,

you'll know, know, know."

-Amy Winehouse.

First week of the fall sophomore semester...check. At this point, I'm so pumped for what's in store. But mind you, I've only been to two of my five classes. So fear is still in my heart. We'll see.

Friday, correct? How shall we do some Friday Five. I feel like it's been way too long.

Literally, this outfit is perf. Unbuttoned men's shirt with a high-waisted skirt and simple strap heels...right up my alley.

I have no idea why, but I'm obsessed with the whole tomboy, "I don't care" look lately. A snapback and kicks with an oversized shirt seems so flawless in all the edgy and sick ways. Cara, my queen, looking dope. As always.

I know I already posted a pic of the beautiful bride-to-be. (Mrs. Malik, anyone?) But Perrie Edwards looks too gorgeous in this black tulle gown. Showstopping for sure.

It takes a lot for me to approve a classy, crop top outfit. But Selena put the casual in this monochrome, modern look. All black, Chanel purse, high-waisted shorts, too much goodness.

Can you tell that school is bringing back my all-black wardrobe picks? Maybe it's a sign...but really now. How rad is this OOTD? Loving the asymmetrical skort with those Dunks. Too awesome.

Say You Like Me.

"Cause I'm never going down,

I'm never giving up.

I'm never gonna leave,

so put your hands up

if you like me."

-We The Kings.

Lazy Thursday. Is that a thing? Well, because of my classless schedule, it certainly will become one very soon. Especially due to the fact that I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIND ALL DAY LONG. Kill me now.

I'm kinda in a rut, you guys. I don't know how to get out of this whole..well...hole I dig myself into. No, I know not everyone will agree with me or see my perspective. But it sucks to have to explain myself and the reasons behind who I am. Yeah, I'm a picky eater and I'm stubborn and I can get myself into awkward situations. Who isn't like that these days? But I hate being put down over it. It's making me almost upset to know that being myself isn't always allowed in order to have friends. Some of you may say to find new friends, but I honestly have no clue how to start that. Growing up in a small town hinders you from being a people-person and up for new relationships. We live in a constant circle that turns vicious if you don't break out. I've been trying to break out for a year now, and I still seem to be a creature of comfort and habit.

Despite my rather sad post, I awoke to a hilarious picture message from one of my best friend's mom. You see, Connor is a Boy Scout. And he hasn't gotten a new uniform in a while. Water polo made him more muscular and broad, so...this happened.

Yep. It may look like it fits, but those buttons are hardly fitting together. Laughing out loud so hard over my boy. 

Oh yeah, and then I got this photo sent to my phone not too long ago. I'm so in love with this little guy, it's a problem.

HE'S TOO PERFECT, I'M TELLING YOU. I love my baby nephew. OBSESSED.

Honey.

"Oh honey,

I still want you around.

Like I always did,

I always will."

-Coin.

First day of sophomore year of college. Check that one off the list. Is it weird to say I never thought I'd get to this point? I honestly never pictured my future past around 17 years old. Then again, it's hard to know exactly where you're going.

But I did it. First day done. (Wearing all black in the middle of a southern August, I must brag.) It was a hot and humid one, but it was filled with anxiety and nervous laughter. Although I'm scared, I'm quite stoked, surprisingly. I'm getting more comfortable with the fact that things will figure themselves out. I'm just here to do my thing and feel good vibes. Is that too much to hope for? I think not...

And hey, the view ain't too bad from where I'm at. Might as well enjoy this for the next 16 weeks while I'm here.

Oh yeah, and Zayn got engaged. SAY WHAT. Congratulations to the happy,  young couple!

Disappear.

"You don't have to know

where you're going,

just where it is

you want to be."

-Parachute.

Although I've abandoned you for the past week (almost), I've needed this. Right now, I have so many emotions, it's making me physically sick. All I want to do is cry...and go home. This isn't how college is supposed to feel, is it? I don't know if it's just me being scared to change from the summer months. But the past few days have been, to say the least, not fun. I don't really know what to say or think or do because I don't want people to get upset over someone like me. It's not that important. 

After a long and overly intense talk with my mom last night, many tears were shed and lots of emotions were unveiled. I feel like I shouldn't have said some things, even though I knew it was sort of what I was feeling. I just don't know at this point. My mom told me to focus on the good things and the things that make me happy. But that includes stuff like the beach, summer and California. None of which I have...so...

This lyric is getting me through today at least. I'm always so stressed about the future. Heck, I'm stressed about everything. No one moment is left unrelaxed. Maybe, I need someone to talk to, but that person is gone and I won't see her for the next four months or so. I'm just lost.

I need to get through this week. And then, the month. And then the semester. 

I can do this. Let's hope...

Nashville.

"Going back to Nashville,

thinking 'bout the whole thing.

Guess you gotta run sometimes."

-David Mead.

Summer is over. I can't even believe four months went by that quick. I don't even know how to feel. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm determined. I'm sick. I'm anxious. I'm...ready. I really don't know where I am. But I know the tears and the fear are going to hit me soon enough.

I feel kind of alone in this process. Everyone is so stoked to go back to school and be there. I wish I could just stay here for another three months and enjoy my home. Summer is never long enough in time. But I guess I have to listen to the ocean's lessons and just ride the wave. Cheesy, yes. But the ocean is one of the best pieces of the world to learn the greatest messages from.

California, I'll see you later. Like four months later. Like Christmas later. Stay cool and don't kill the vibe. Because California, I'm in love with you. 

Stay gold.

Manhattan.

"You can have Manhattan.

I'll settle for the beach

and sunsets facing westward

with the sand beneath my feet."

-Sara Bareilles.

I'm a tad late to the party on this one. But oh my goodness, Sara Bareilles' new album is pure genius. I cannot get enough of her beautiful piano playing and intricate lyrical contraptions. Can you say obsessed? Well, I don't mind one bit. Her new stuff is totally worth the embarrassment of being a complete and utter fangirl. 

This song, Manhattan, makes my heart full in all the right places. I cannot get over how she just says everything in the best way during these lyric lines. Gah, I'm just going to shut up and let you listen to her magic.

Roar.

"I used to bite my tongue

and hold my breath.

Scared to rock the boat

and make a mess."

-Katy Perry.

It's late. I'm exhausted. Tomorrow is my last day at home for a while. Yikes. The nervousness and anxiety is setting in and I literally don't know what to feel. 

To be able to take tonight off and hang with one of my bests was calming. Thankfully, no tears have been shed yet. But I'm pretty sure once I'm truly left alone, open the floodgates of crying.

Anywho, this new Katy Perry song is rocking. I'm loving this vibe she's setting and I can't wait to see what her whole album is all about. Even though this song is probably being overplayed on your radio stations, it's one to mention.

Still Into You.

"I should be over all the butterflies,

but I'm into you.

And baby, even on our worst nights,

I'm into you."

-Paramore.

Teen Choice Awards filled the void for the lack of award shows lately. Sure, I think I just wasted about two hours of my summer that I can never get back. But what can I say? I gotta keep up with my entertainment news. And I was dying to see the "turquoise" carpet styles for the night. Here are some of my favorite looks:

So mint and spring and floral and ah! Brittany Snow looks ravishing in this green Oliver Tolentino number. Fresh and cute.

Now this is the midriff trend done right. Lucy Hale shines bright in this two-piece ensemble, complete with crop top and flowy skirt. Those simple, black pumps add to the fashion factor, as well.

Va-va-voom! Degrassi did you well, girl. Nina Dobrev looking absolutely hot in paint-spotted separates by J. Mendel. Plus, her messy hair and natural make-up give it all an effortless appeal.

Hands down: best outfit of the night. Shay Mitchell, you are one gorgeous girl in this Jenni Kayne jumpsuit and Jimmy Choos. STUNNING.

My new hero. Miss Lea Michele brought a tear to my eye and definitely had the whole room crying. You are one strong, brave woman and I commend you for all of your courage as you took to the stage tonight. It takes a lot of guts to go public after a horrific tragedy such as the one she just faced. You are beautiful in every sense of the word and I am so grateful for your love and adoration of your man.

Oh yeah...and this happened. 

Little Things.

"You still have to squeeze

into your jeans,

but you're perfect

to me."

-One Direction.

I wish last night could play on repeat for the rest of my life. Why can't concerts last forever?! The boys were legends last night and I could not be more proud for everything they've accomplished in the past three years. It's been such an amazing run for them and throughout the show, I couldn't help but root for their (amazing!!!) vocals and harmonies. I appreciate their talent and how much effort they put into what they do and what they love. Plus, these lads always seem so grounded and thankful for everything they have been able to do. I can't help but just smile when I think about how great this night was and how I truly am quite proud.

Love you all, boys.

Best Song Ever. (Literally.)

Let me kiss you...

Over Again. Danish.

Live While We're Young. Woah oh oh oh.

Little Things. Beautiful.

5SOS, you boys were siiiiiiick.

Sing it out, shall we?

Literally, one of the prettiest and coolest things I've ever seen.

Premier seating...yes.

Thanks for a perfect night. You guys rock.

Diane Young.

"Irish and proud, baby, naturally

 but you've got the luck of a Kennedy."

-Vampire Weekend.

I get to see the some of my favorites tonight. So my Friday Five is dedicated to them. Boys, let's have a go at it, shall we?

So dapper and so handsome. The 1D style is impeccable, but I may be quite biased.

Teen Vogue sure knows how to style a photoshoot. Lovin' this shot of the lads.

And the grown-up Vogue does even better at this businessman, classy look. Who knew teenage boys could look so good yet so suave?

Yes! This is simply the best. If you have no idea who these guys are, this picture definitely defines it on point. You're welcome.

Some things never need to change...

PS. I will be screaming like a little 7-year-old girl. Don't judge. 

One Direction, keep on taking the world by storm. 

Who's That Boy.

"Give me the green light.

Kiss my lips.

Who's that boy

watching my hips."

-Demi Lovato & Dev.

Another day, another later. It really all hasn't hit me yet. I don't know if it actually will. I just have a different perspective on this whole going away thing. It never gets easier to know I won't see these faces for four months, but I know that we shall see each other sooner than later.

Physical activity is not exactly my favorite thing. (Sports are an exception, though.) Hiking all the way up the Peak was quite a daunting task. Nevertheless, doing it with people you love (and who are hilarious, by the way) is so much of a release. I'm so grateful I was able to see the beautiful views and look around at God's creations from the tip-top of a random little mountain. It's quite something when you can take a breath in and know that all of what surrounds you is your moment to live in. What a crazy epiphany if you think...and not well-worded. But who cares?

Big love to my littles who are still braving the tide of high school. It may seem tedious without a cause, but the nostalgic adult in me knows that those four years make or break you. And where we live, it may not be much, but we have such a blessed life. We have such a great community and high school is so short that you have to cling to those in your atmosphere. So keep your head up, I love you three more than most. 

You make my world a lot brighter.

Love Like Crazy.

"Be a best friend.

Tell the truth.

And overuse 'I love you'."

-Lee Brice.

Today began my list of goodbyes. Well, not goodbyes. More like see you laters. It just so happened to start with my best guy friend in the world. I cannot shut up about Matt and how much his friendship means to me. He is truly the brother I have always wanted and I couldn't ask for anything more. He makes me laugh harder than anything and never ceases to amaze me in his raw talents. Matt just has that 'it' factor. He's a genius to me and I am always stoked to see what the future holds for him.

Matt and I grew up together. Just two little kids who loved to joke around and never take life too seriously. What a great way to get to know a guy, right? And even though we've matured (maybe), we still act like we're 6-year-olds. Best times ever.

Today as we discussed possibly creating a reality show about "prostidudes" and improvised a fake disco dance to The Hustle, I knew that this kid would always be my friend. I need someone like him in my life to make me smile and have around to make fun of. It's just the coolest thing to be pals with a guy like him.

I'm gonna miss you these next four months, bud. But just know your star shines bright and I can't wait to see what's new when December rolls around. Until then, dance like everyone is watching and make the world your stage. You rock.

Patient Love.

"And the three words 

on the tip of my tongue

not to be spoken nor sung

or whispered to anyone."

-Passenger.

So You Think You Can Dance brings me to so many cool songs. I already knew of the acoustic folk genius that Passenger holds, but this brings it to a whole other level. I'm excited to explore the depths of his other British tunes while getting wrapped up in the hipster side of myself. Hope you love my newfound discovery as much as I do.

And remember...keep on dancing.

Bleeding Love.

"And it's draining all of me.

Oh, they find it hard to believe.

I'll be wearing these scars

for everyone to see."

-Leona Lewis.

As said in some previous post from days ago, Tahoe was fantastic. Our annual roadtrip to the great mountains of Nevada seems to bring out the best of fun. Maybe, one day, I'll go back in winter, but summer is always the best time to breathe in the (lack of) fresh air. Picture perfect scenery also included.

All eight-hour drives consist of alternative rock music and wide open fields at some point.

Drifting along the river.

A castle by the lake shore? Yes, please.

Let's just say I've lost my bikini body...but this boulder is sick.

Can this be my view every day?

Emerald Bay...more like nature's beauty.

I'm not one to think about this, but I would totally get married in this church.

Road trip views are gold.