What I Want.

"Well, I'm from Indiana.

She's made me what I've become.

Everybody has their reasons

and one is always where they're from."

-Jon McLaughlin.

Literally this song is brilliant. Screaming the words at the top of your lungs adds more effect if you'd like to prove a point.

My abandonment from this blog is making me regret ever leaving it. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice in order to actually live fully. That's what I've been doing for the past six days. Trying to breathe everything in and let the bad stuff go. 

Washington is not really my cup of tea, but you get what you get and you don't get upset. I'm not always pleasant when it comes to things I don't completely enjoy, but I tried so hard to savor the little moments that strung together to make me smile too much.

I'll share pictures with you tomorrow as for today is Friday. And I will not let you down over my weekly five. I've been in such a fashion rut for the past few weeks. I feel like I just don't have the clothes I want to show off my personal style. I'll keep lusting through online window shopping and street style. 

I'm also a day off on this occasion, but I saw some patriotic outfits yesterday. America at its finest...here are my favorite USA looks.

What says independence more than a flag sweater and cutoff denim? Proud and poppin'.

For those who have a desire to be prim and proper, this chic combo of a navy chiffon blouse and pleated striped skirt make a bold statement.

If you had a beach holiday affair like Taylor, this bikini top/skirt combo would be all parts summer, sun, party and USA.

Being the 0.0000001% of girls who didn't wear American flag cutoffs, this outfit was similar to my own yesterday. A sleeveless button-up with some white Converse keeps the 4th of July vibe chill and cool.

Last minute outfit ideas? Just grab a flag of the stars and stripes to use as a light shawl. Our star-spangled banner screams AMERICA on anything.

Hello Seattle.

"Hello Seattle,

I am an old lighthouse.

Throwing beams

of bright lights."

-Owl City.

Just a short little heads-up for what is to come in the next week. I'm flying off to the land of rain and coffee...without a laptop. It's all about family for the next six days and even though I may be driven insane quite soon, it is a vacation and I love to travel. I'll be back Friday without a doubt but until then, I'm off to where the sun don't really shine and the forests look like the Twilight Saga. Whoop-dee-do.

Oh yeah, and I get to see a cute, fat baby, too. YAY BABY.

Start Me Up.

"Ride like the wind

at double speed.

I'll take you places

that you've never, ever seen."

-The Rolling Stones.

Cheers to the freaking weekend. I drink to that...yeah, yeah. Well, drink Diet Coke that is.

Friday Five coming to you live from my Pinterest page. The one website that keeps me going in life.

I'm a sucker for those Valentino heels. Black and white perfection, it is, complete with a crisp white blazer and polka-dot skirt. 

Can we talk about how cute and boho this look would be? The straw, floppy hat screams sweet summertime. And to me, that dress is all hippie meets tribal to me. Peace, yo.

I love a good flare jean. These blues make her legs look Amazon-high and the dotted blouse keep the look simple yet stylish.

My collar obsessed is a tad over-the-top. I'm loving the orange pop on this all-black combo. Tres, tres chic, no?

Can't. Help. Myself. Converse and oversized tees are my LIFE. I wish I looked this rad while walking the shoreline. Too cool for school.

Can't Help Falling In Love.

"Take my hand.

Take my whole life, too."

-Ingrid Michaelson.

M was 16, R was 17. She got in a fight with her boyfriend and was so mad that she broke up with him. She wanted to rebound, so she went on her first date with R. They ended up having chemistry together. She did all of his homework for him; he got an A, she got a B. She was the pretty, popular girl and he was the top football guy. He told her he was rich and able, but he was really a dirt poor farm boy. Even when he graduated, they stuck together. One short year later, she graduated at 17. And a week later, they wed in a tiny little ceremony. Her parents were angry and his parents didn't really give a care. 

This story began 60 years ago. 

My grandparents have been married for a while now. They've never looked back even though they are the definition of two crazy teenagers in love. Their fairytale gives me hope and faith that love doesn't ever die. Love is real and it always has been. Why do I still believe this?

In honor of this momentous occasion, my grandfather made a simple toast: "Thank you to the love of my life."

It almost makes me cry thinking about how amazing this moment was for them. It's astonishing. I feel as if they are immortal and they'll be married another 20 or 30 years. They just inspire me every day and I'm so lucky to be their granddaughter. I'm so blessed to have this beautiful family that they have made for me and all of us. They created something so special, I can hardly put it in words.

All because two people fell in love...

Happy 60th anniversary to two of my favorite people EVER.

I love you two forever and always.

Lose My Breath.

"You understand the facts

that I'm trying to give to you.

You moving so slow

like you just don't have a clue."

-Destiny's Child.

Heatwave all over the west coast is making for excellent tanning weather. Pretty sure I got my first real sunburn of the summer which I can't complain about. I work out for my tan. It's very important to have that sunkissed skin. 

Today was a revolutionary day for California and America as a whole. DOMA was ruled as unconstitutional (I coulda told you that years ago) and Prop 8 was overturned to allow gay marriage in the state of California. I have never been so ecstatic for a court decision. Love is love, no matter what. If you fall in love with a person and want them to be around for the rest of your life, it doesn't matter what gender you are. All that matters is the fact that you two want to spend forever together. That's all I care about. Equality is what we stand for and now it really is becoming a true statement.

Wendy Davis. What can I say? You are my biggest hero in life at the moment. The fact that you filibustered for 11+ hours to keep the option of abortion alive makes me so proud to be a woman in this country. If I'm being completely honest, no man should be able to take away the chance to make a woman's decision to do what she wants with her body. They don't understand the pain women go through while on the journey of figuring out pregnancy. It's beautiful, but terrifying to have a child. If someone isn't ready or can't offer them the best life out there, they should be able to stand up for themselves and make the right choice. Mrs. Davis, thank you for keeping that option alive in Texas. You really are one of the strongest, smartest women of this generation and I salute you entirely for what you have done in terms of women's rights.

I'm so proud to be an American today. I'm happy to say I live in a country where you can love who you want and choose to be the person you want to be. There's no greater freedom than being able to understand those two vital points to life.

Not Like The Movies.

"Just like the movies.

That's how it will be.

Cinematic and dramatic, 

with the perfect ending, oh."

-Katy Perry.

For the past couple days, I think I've figured out more about myself than ever before. It's weird to think I'm getting older and with that, finding out the wise pieces of my puzzle. I can see what I want and what I don't like and where I can see myself. And it's scary as all hell.

I am a firm believer in this: you don't know who you are until you lose who you are. 

I was about 14 years old when I completely hit my bottom. I was depressed. Anxious. Lonely. Unwilling. Lost. Naive. Dramatic. Scared.

I didn't have the friends I needed and I was blind to the people who truly loved me. I didn't care about living because I sacrificed all of my happiness for the sake of everyone else's entertainment. I was the ragdoll and even worse, I was okay with it. 

It still comes in flashbacks every once in a while. I know how dark I can be and how messed up my mind can get sometimes. But I'm realizing we all have our struggles. The strong and secure make it through. And I made it past the worst of mine. 

I can tell you that if you knew me five years ago, I'm a completely new person. Sure, I have my moments, but overall, I'm good. I have chosen to be okay. I don't believe we can choose happiness, but the choices we make in life are the ones that should fill us with joy. And I don't mean these deep, intricate life-changing decisions. Mine include tanning on the beach and buying large McDonald's Diet Coke. Those little things make up a big and full life. 

Love is one of those things. A couple of my close friends are already hyped up on marriage. We're not even in our twenties yet and they dragged me to look at engagement rings. You know what I'm hoping for at this point in time for my love life? A nice, funny boy who will hopefully stand and wait for me at the end of the aisle and me looking pretty in a white dress.  I don't need the details planned because the future is waiting for me and I'll get there. But I'll take my sweet little time.

Just know life isn't perfect. But if you string together the photographs of memories in your mind, it makes one amazing film, doesn't it?

Hold On.

"Someday, somebody's

gonna make you want to

turn around and say goodbye."

-Wilson Phillips.

I get by with a little help from my friends. No, I don't get high with a little help from them, though. They just make my cold heart melt a little inside. 

Minor detour: sorry for the lack of post yesterday. Coastal-wide blackout for two hours results in zero communication to the web. Let it be known that it was just a tease for what the zombie apocalypse has to come.

Anyways...my friends are some pretty spectacular people. Starbucks and God talks soothe the soul. I'm also beginning to realize, thanks to Nicole and Alanna, that in no way am I wanting to get married or obsessed with my planning until I am engaged. All I want is a boy to wait for me at the end of the aisle who somewhat likes me. Is that too much to ask for at this point?

Right now, my stomach is tossing and turning from all the junk food I devoured while indulging in a comedy movie night with my best friend in life. Gosh, that girl is the greatest. I'm so grateful to still have a laugh with her after 15 years of friendship. And I know that these laughs will go on for years to come. 

AND OH MY GOODNESS BULLDOGS ARE TOO CUTE. Please, Lord, if you could give me one thing in life, it would be a fat and lazy English bulldog. I pray for this.

Summary: my day was absolutely lovely and I plan to make many more as glorious and filled with love.