Sea Sick.

"Something that you said

made me think,

'I'll stop running.'

Face all my old fears

one more time."

-Bonnie Dune.

It's been almost 24 hours and I'm still in complete and utter shock over the devastating news rocking the entertainment world as we know it. We lost a good one, that's for sure.

Literally, I've been paralyzed in my thoughts every time I read another article about it. It just doesn't seem real. I know he's gone, but I swear to myself, he's still around. I can find no closure at all and I didn't even know him personally. Just a far-away fan with a hopeless crush. But he still meant something.

I know he made me laugh and sing and be happy. He filled so many hearts with happiness and he left a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just praying that even though his is now dark, it wasn't because he turned it off himself. 

I am sending all the thoughts and prayers and love to his family. The people that love and know him better than anyone else on the planet. The ones who he touched with his precious, gapped smile and his overly tall body composition. It was the quirks that made him and the talent that led him to this wonderful life. I can't believe I'm still not completely speechless over this, because my mind is still racing about 1000 miles a minute every time the subject comes up.

I'm also wishing the best for Ms. Michele. She is too beautiful and lovely to have this break her right now. It's not fair to her. I mean, it's never fair to anyone, but all I keep thinking is he was too young and too good. He was a spark and for her, he was her safety net. I can't even begin to fathom being in the position. Sending everything positive and happy your way during this horrific time.

Cory Monteith, you will forever be one of my biggest crushes. I will always see your face and giggle at how silly yet handsome you were. You are loved for the end of time. And we all miss you. 

Rest in peace, Frankenteen. 

Toes.

"Put my ass in a lawn chair.

Toes in the clay.

Not a worry in the world,

a PBR on the way.

Life is good today."

-Zac Brown Band.

Escaping to the lake for the weekend with my best friend. Going to soak up some rays and wipe out on the innertube. Beyond stoked for the next three days in paradise.

Peace out, y'all. Cheers to the freakin' weekend. 

A Place To Lay My Head.

"Out on the highway,

dancing low.

The thunder of a heartbeat

in these weary bones."

-Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors.

One of my favorite things I experience from time to time is when I see my friends as some of the coolest people I will ever know. I absolutely love the people who I call my second family. The ones you surround yourself with really do influence you and change you in every aspect of who you are. I'm blessed to have these amazing human beings as people I can trust and laugh with.

As I packed P's life for Australia in the small confines of a miniature suitcase, I thought about what got us here. Our journey has definitely been one filled with ups and downs. He's one of the many that has had bumps along the road and feelings left uncharted. But in the end, I wound up on his floor, rolling his shirts and stuffing them in the tiniest two-week check-in bag ever. And it was so much fun. We just...click. 

I find it quite cool to have this best friend of mine because we have been through the ringer together. I've literally seen him grow up before my eyes and I'm pretty positive he could say the same about me. (Possibly...I'm still a tad immature.) To be able to just joke about awkward things and talk about anything makes it comfortable and easy. Friendships like that make my heart full.

I adore my friends. Every single one of them. For their grace, patience, kindness, laughter, honesty, trust, and most importantly, love. Because I hope, along the way, I have given the same to them. That's all I could ever ask for.

Royals.

"But every song's like

gold teeth, Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom,

blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room.

We don't care,

we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams."

-Lorde.

Been such a long while since I've mentioned my music picks on here. And this one I'm about to brag about is DOPE.

I have been on quite the hunt for some cool new jams. I've even resorted to mainstream pop radio. (Blurred Lines is such my guilty pleasure as of late.) But this song is purely FRESH. I can't even...

Apparently, this Lorde girl is like 16 years old and she's from New Zealand. I'm just too overly impressed by her sheer genius with how sick this jam is. It makes me feel cool and that's pretty hard to achieve in this day and age. I mean, you're talking to the most awkward weirdo on the planet. If this song makes me feel popular, that's a step up.

Check it. Right now.

How Long.

"Forgiveness is a heavy promise.

It's a language that's so hard to speak."

-Dave Barnes.

Accomplished something on my summer bucket list. Score one for me!

I spent the foggy evening in the trunk of a toaster car, feasting on popcorn and watching the cutest Monsters University. That movie is too adorable and so college and all it made me want to do is go back to Tennessee. It gave me hope for this upcoming year and all the potential it has. 

Before and after the film, though, I got to torture one of my best friends, P. We go wayyyyyyy back. I mean, like, all the way to junior high. As I like to refer to them as the awkward, ugly years. Ah, yes, back then when you make a best friend instantly because you stole someone's Nerds candy and share them with a complete stranger.

I feel like the people who have made the biggest stamp on my life have been the ones who I have met randomly and spontaneously. It makes it kind of special even though their friendship comes as a huge surprise to me. (I don't really enjoy getting surprised, FYI) He is included in that and I swear our friendship is basically one giant rollercoaster. Ups, downs, twists and turns...the whole shabang. But I guess that's what makes our friendship so strong and will continue to be as silly as we are. Yes, we participate in witty banter and lanky dance parties while driving in the car. Big deal...it's casual.

Nights like these make me reflect and love where I'm at. It's my mantra of things happening for a reason and the people who surround you are an outward appearance of yourself. It's cool to know someone like P has been there for me for years, through thick and thin, and yet we still laugh and tell stories like no tomorrow.

That's the best kind of friendship around.

P.S. Go watch Monsters Uni. It is beyond wonderful and I love it dearly.

Last Mistake.

"Yeah, you're only as right

as the wrong you make.

You can run, and you run,

and you run, but you'll never escape."

-Augustana.

Homework takes up my whole entire life. Hating on the fact that I didn't spend one minute outside today. Thanks, world history. I hate you, too.

Being stuck in the confines of my bedroom, I started to get inspired to branch out and use the next month home to explore and adventure. I want to actually go out and do the things I say I'm going to do. I tried to start that today as I baked a cake (which turned out amazing by the way) and listening to some old jams. 

This week, I promise to dedicate myself to doing what I want to do rather than sitting around and living a boring life. Tomorrow's hope? DRIVE IN MOVIES. One of the coolest ideas of an activity, if you ask me. To be able to sit in the comfort of my own car covered in blankets and stuffing my face with 7-11 treats is basically my dream. I don't understand why all movie theaters aren't drive-ins. Too good. And I am dying to see Despicable Me 2. It's going to be good...I can feel it.

Here's a couple bucket lists to possibly jump your gun a bit. Monday tomorrow, so go out and do you. Live your life and accomplish everything. You are awesome.

Black Skinhead.

"For my theme song,

my black leather jeans on.

My by any means on,

pardon I'm getting my scream on."

-Kanye West.

Oh, Washington, how I don't miss you so. Just bring me my nephew and all will be right in the world again. California is way better than you shall ever be. No offense, you're just not my style.

Let's reminisce the week I only want to remember for the bright fireworks, s'mores debut and baby laughs.

My heart...I just can't even.

We're going to the zoo! We're going to the zoo!

Baaa. Pet the goat.

Yeah, he likes the water...

Blood popsicles. Yum.

They made me ride a camel. Six bucks to ride this stupid camel. Come on.

Never heard a baby laugh with such joy as this little guy.

It's a beautiful day.

This was my dad's favorite part of the trip. Humiliation at its finest.

Ill Eagle. Ha. Ha ha. Wow.