Disappear.

"You don't have to know

where you're going,

just where it is

you want to be."

-Parachute.

Although I've abandoned you for the past week (almost), I've needed this. Right now, I have so many emotions, it's making me physically sick. All I want to do is cry...and go home. This isn't how college is supposed to feel, is it? I don't know if it's just me being scared to change from the summer months. But the past few days have been, to say the least, not fun. I don't really know what to say or think or do because I don't want people to get upset over someone like me. It's not that important. 

After a long and overly intense talk with my mom last night, many tears were shed and lots of emotions were unveiled. I feel like I shouldn't have said some things, even though I knew it was sort of what I was feeling. I just don't know at this point. My mom told me to focus on the good things and the things that make me happy. But that includes stuff like the beach, summer and California. None of which I have...so...

This lyric is getting me through today at least. I'm always so stressed about the future. Heck, I'm stressed about everything. No one moment is left unrelaxed. Maybe, I need someone to talk to, but that person is gone and I won't see her for the next four months or so. I'm just lost.

I need to get through this week. And then, the month. And then the semester. 

I can do this. Let's hope...

Nashville.

"Going back to Nashville,

thinking 'bout the whole thing.

Guess you gotta run sometimes."

-David Mead.

Summer is over. I can't even believe four months went by that quick. I don't even know how to feel. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm determined. I'm sick. I'm anxious. I'm...ready. I really don't know where I am. But I know the tears and the fear are going to hit me soon enough.

I feel kind of alone in this process. Everyone is so stoked to go back to school and be there. I wish I could just stay here for another three months and enjoy my home. Summer is never long enough in time. But I guess I have to listen to the ocean's lessons and just ride the wave. Cheesy, yes. But the ocean is one of the best pieces of the world to learn the greatest messages from.

California, I'll see you later. Like four months later. Like Christmas later. Stay cool and don't kill the vibe. Because California, I'm in love with you. 

Stay gold.

Manhattan.

"You can have Manhattan.

I'll settle for the beach

and sunsets facing westward

with the sand beneath my feet."

-Sara Bareilles.

I'm a tad late to the party on this one. But oh my goodness, Sara Bareilles' new album is pure genius. I cannot get enough of her beautiful piano playing and intricate lyrical contraptions. Can you say obsessed? Well, I don't mind one bit. Her new stuff is totally worth the embarrassment of being a complete and utter fangirl. 

This song, Manhattan, makes my heart full in all the right places. I cannot get over how she just says everything in the best way during these lyric lines. Gah, I'm just going to shut up and let you listen to her magic.

Roar.

"I used to bite my tongue

and hold my breath.

Scared to rock the boat

and make a mess."

-Katy Perry.

It's late. I'm exhausted. Tomorrow is my last day at home for a while. Yikes. The nervousness and anxiety is setting in and I literally don't know what to feel. 

To be able to take tonight off and hang with one of my bests was calming. Thankfully, no tears have been shed yet. But I'm pretty sure once I'm truly left alone, open the floodgates of crying.

Anywho, this new Katy Perry song is rocking. I'm loving this vibe she's setting and I can't wait to see what her whole album is all about. Even though this song is probably being overplayed on your radio stations, it's one to mention.

Still Into You.

"I should be over all the butterflies,

but I'm into you.

And baby, even on our worst nights,

I'm into you."

-Paramore.

Teen Choice Awards filled the void for the lack of award shows lately. Sure, I think I just wasted about two hours of my summer that I can never get back. But what can I say? I gotta keep up with my entertainment news. And I was dying to see the "turquoise" carpet styles for the night. Here are some of my favorite looks:

So mint and spring and floral and ah! Brittany Snow looks ravishing in this green Oliver Tolentino number. Fresh and cute.

Now this is the midriff trend done right. Lucy Hale shines bright in this two-piece ensemble, complete with crop top and flowy skirt. Those simple, black pumps add to the fashion factor, as well.

Va-va-voom! Degrassi did you well, girl. Nina Dobrev looking absolutely hot in paint-spotted separates by J. Mendel. Plus, her messy hair and natural make-up give it all an effortless appeal.

Hands down: best outfit of the night. Shay Mitchell, you are one gorgeous girl in this Jenni Kayne jumpsuit and Jimmy Choos. STUNNING.

My new hero. Miss Lea Michele brought a tear to my eye and definitely had the whole room crying. You are one strong, brave woman and I commend you for all of your courage as you took to the stage tonight. It takes a lot of guts to go public after a horrific tragedy such as the one she just faced. You are beautiful in every sense of the word and I am so grateful for your love and adoration of your man.

Oh yeah...and this happened. 

Little Things.

"You still have to squeeze

into your jeans,

but you're perfect

to me."

-One Direction.

I wish last night could play on repeat for the rest of my life. Why can't concerts last forever?! The boys were legends last night and I could not be more proud for everything they've accomplished in the past three years. It's been such an amazing run for them and throughout the show, I couldn't help but root for their (amazing!!!) vocals and harmonies. I appreciate their talent and how much effort they put into what they do and what they love. Plus, these lads always seem so grounded and thankful for everything they have been able to do. I can't help but just smile when I think about how great this night was and how I truly am quite proud.

Love you all, boys.

Best Song Ever. (Literally.)

Let me kiss you...

Over Again. Danish.

Live While We're Young. Woah oh oh oh.

Little Things. Beautiful.

5SOS, you boys were siiiiiiick.

Sing it out, shall we?

Literally, one of the prettiest and coolest things I've ever seen.

Premier seating...yes.

Thanks for a perfect night. You guys rock.

Diane Young.

"Irish and proud, baby, naturally

 but you've got the luck of a Kennedy."

-Vampire Weekend.

I get to see the some of my favorites tonight. So my Friday Five is dedicated to them. Boys, let's have a go at it, shall we?

So dapper and so handsome. The 1D style is impeccable, but I may be quite biased.

Teen Vogue sure knows how to style a photoshoot. Lovin' this shot of the lads.

And the grown-up Vogue does even better at this businessman, classy look. Who knew teenage boys could look so good yet so suave?

Yes! This is simply the best. If you have no idea who these guys are, this picture definitely defines it on point. You're welcome.

Some things never need to change...

PS. I will be screaming like a little 7-year-old girl. Don't judge. 

One Direction, keep on taking the world by storm.