Don't Forget Where You Belong.

"Been a lot of places, I've been all around the world.

Seen a lot of faces, never knowing where I was.

On the horizon, well I know, I know, I know, I know

the sun will be rising back home."

- One Direction.

I think people underrate how deep it is to not know how you feel. What I mean by that is being full of mixed feelings is taken for granted and that's not okay.

Although London became the love of my life over the past few months, I admit I had memorized all of the details of my flight home. I thought I was 100-percent ready to hit the States again.

But when it came time to get on that flight, it took everything within me to not run the opposite way security was directing me.

Long story short, I got on the plane (thank you if you get my Friends-like reference). Instead of wallowing in my pity like I had planned, I occupied my 10+ hour flight with movies and music galore. I swear, if you are ever in need of a catch-up on pop culture, book a international flight and you've got yourself a ticket to every movie that was nominated for an Oscar that year. Anyways, where was I...?

Oh, yeah. So ten hours and thousands of miles later, I felt the wheels touch down on American soil. And unlike any other flight, I felt at ease. I felt calm. Most importantly, I felt at home.

That was exactly where I landed. Home. 

As thrilled as I was to get through security see my parents, I also felt so weird to get into a car and ride on the right side of the road and know that I was not returning to the Redcliffe Gardens. I was back to the normal life, whatever that meant.

Sure, I love America and, more specifically, I am obsessed with California. But I have now become weirdly nostalgic for a place I was only days ago. Reminiscing is me of a time so long ago and yet long ago means a month past when I was frequenting the local pub for a pint. I am homesick for a place that is technically not my home and that I was merely a stranger living within. 

At that, I leave you as I started. Angry and frustrated that being confused over my feelings is a totally neglected response in our world. I guess it's hard to fall in love time and time again. But it is now time to let my heart fall back into its West Coast ways. 

Summer, let your waves take me.